Remembering the Road to the Celtics' 2007-2008 Championship

Five years ago when the Boston Celtics won their last championship, and first since 1986, I wrote a little piece for the now-defunct Flak Magazine about the breaking of the Curse of Len Bias and Reggie Lewis. Since that mini-dynasty is now over, and since it's no longer online, I thought I'd post that story here.

The Curse of Len and Reggie is Broken

by Michael Frissore

Flak Magazine

06/23/2008

In October 2004 a curse was finally broken. A curse placed many, many years ago by a man who was often too drunk to put his own pants on, let alone a hex on an entire baseball franchise, was lifted thanks to a bunch of self-proclaimed "idiots." The Boston Red Sox had somehow won the World Series. Then they did it again in 2007.

Only occasionally would those celebrating the wicked pissah victories of the Sox and the three-time "Big Game" champion New England Patriots stop and ask each other, "Hey, remember the Celtics?"

Lately, Boston's longing for the yesteryear of Bird/Magic, McHale/Worthy, and Parish/Kareem has given way to the excitement over Pierce/Kobe, Garnett/Gasol, and Allen/the Slovenian with the girl's name. How has this happened when the Celtics were basement dwellers last year? And the year before?

As the season progressed, some wondered: Could the Celts' own 22-year championship drought also be attributed to some kind of curse? A spell? An execration? Were the Celtics, like the Red Sox and Darrin Stephens, the victims of the voodoo that you do? It was obviously black magic that brought them 16 titles in the first place. The same can be said for the Lakers' 14 championships, but everyone knows longtime Lakers GM and NBA logo silhouette Jerry West is evil.

It was only days after the Celts' last championship win in 1986 against the Houston Rockets, and just 48 hours after the Celtics drafted him, that #2 pick Len Bias of the University of Maryland dropped dead from a cocaine overdose. And the mad genius with the giant cigar in his mouth quietly said: "Oh, shit."

Arnold "Red" Auerbach, former President and vice chairman of the Celtics, had dabbled in the black arts one too many times. And it killed young Leonard Kevin Bias. Crazy? Maybe. But we're talking about a city that dumped crates of tea into its own harbor. And how else could the Celtics get Dennis Johnson for Rick Robey? Or Kevin McHale and Robert Parish for whatever garbage they sent to the Golden State Warriors?

About Bias's death, Red himself would say that the city of Boston hadn't been so shaken since the assassination of JFK (which includes Bucky Dent's home run, but not the Bill Buckner unpleasantness). No less an authority that the Reverend Jesse Jackson compared Bias's passing to those of Mozart, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jackson said each of these men was "young, gifted, strong and militant, all taken in the prime of their lives...Lenny was vulnerable because all of us are vulnerable. He is being used by God to save a generation."

What could possibly take down such a man? Other than cocaine, of course.

Whether or not God saved Bias's generation, He stopped looking out for the C's. Between 1986 and 1993 the Celtics remained quite competitive, even after Larry Bird retired in '92. But then tragedy struck again in '93 when the heir apparent to the Big 3 (Bird, McHale and Parish), All-Star small forward Reggie Lewis, died of a heart attack. How could two talented men like Bias and Lewis both be struck down so young? Especially when old timers Russell, Cousy, Heinsohn, Havlicek, and especially Red, were all still alive?

After this one-two punch, the basketball gods had another idea: let's get rid of McHale and Parish and really watch this team sink.

And sink they did. McHale retired, and Parish signed with the Charlotte Hornets. Do you know how many losing seasons followed? Try eight. That's L.A. Clippers territory. Kansas City Royals even! The Celtics even brought in Dominique Wilkins and Rick Pitino, for Pete's sake. Nothing could help. They went 15-67 during the 1996-97 season! After that the Celts somehow lost out on drafting Tim Duncan, and then traded future all-star Chauncey Billups! How could the team of the aforementioned lopsided trades have this happen to them?

Eventually, in 2002, thanks to their holding onto young stars Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker, and getting Kenny Anderson in the Billups deal, the Celtics made it to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 1988. They lost to the New Jersey Nets, but it seemed the Curse of Len and Reggie was losing its power.

After this close call, the gods regrouped. That's when they sent former Celtics star and new Executive Director of Basketball Operations Danny Ainge to come in and make so many trades that the team, especially remaining star Pierce, wouldn't know who they were playing with on any given night. Walker came and went twice, Anderson was gone, and the likes of Vin Baker, Ricky Davis, Gary Payton, and Tom Gugliotta all appeared in green and then vanished in the blink of an eye.

After God knows how many trades, including one huge one with Ainge's buddy and former teammate McHale, now the Vice President of Basketball Operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves, the Celtics finished 33-49 in 2005-06. They were back to their losing ways. The gods smiled.

Alas, they wouldn't be smiling for too long, because on October 28, 2006 Red Auerbach died at the age of 89. The gods panicked briefly. How would the curse continue without Red? The gods (which consists of, I don't know, "Pistol" Pete Maravich and several former Harlem Globetrotters) did manage to kill 52-year-old former Celtic point guard Dennis Johnson in February 2007 and give the team a 24-58 record, good for the second worst in the NBA that season.

But Ainge, the starting shooting guard on the 1984 and 1986 Celtics championship teams, was a trading machine. Undaunted by all the death and the losing, he sent practically the entire Celtics team to Seattle and Minneapolis for eight-time All-Star Ray Allen and 11-time All-Star and former MVP Kevin Garnett. "Thank you, Kevin McHale," Boston said. A new Big Three was born, and Boston was again praising Ainge, just as they did in his playing days.

Joining starters Pierce, Kendrick Perkins, and Rajon Rondo, Allen and Garnett brought the Celtics back to their former glory, winning 66 games, a 42-win turnaround from the previous year. Ainge added the likes of James Posey, Eddie House, P.J. Brown and Sam Cassell to build a team that was surely the greatest collection of Celtics since '86.

After three grueling rounds of Eastern Conference play, the Celts were on their way to their first NBA Finals in 21 years, and against their old rivals, the Los Angeles Lakers, to whom they lost in the '87 Finals.

The Green took the first two games in Boston. Then, with celebrities like Jack Nicholson, Will Smith, Humphrey Bogart, Lizzie Borden, Magellan and more looking on, the Celtics took one of three games in L.A. and left the West Coast up 3-2 amid all of these powerful celeb Lakers fans, especially Jack (Apparently one of the bullets on Nicholson's bucket list is to be knocked back to Cuckoo's Nest by Celtic Head Coach Doc Rivers.)

Then the series went back to Boston and the Celtics destroyed the Lakers in Game 6. And so the curse was broken for good, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Or did they?

Yes.

If you still don't believe there was a Celtics curse, consider this: Lewis, Bias, and George Herman "Babe" Ruth, were all born in Maryland.

What does this mean?

Nobody knows.

Maybe there was never a curse

Dear Internet Atheists

Science can prove the Earth is more than just 6,000 years

old. It can prove dinosaurs were here millions of years

before humans. It can prove that the Bible wasn't written

by anyone but dudes a few hundred years ago. 

What Science cannot do is disprove the existence of God.

Larry the Barefoot Bum Calls Me Stupid. Sort of.

-->

I noticed that some atheist took a couple of paragraphs from one of my blog posts back in August and put it on his dumb blog. I didn’t care then, but recently came upon it and thought, the nerve of this Larry the Cable Guy character. I don’t suppose he’s calling me stupid. That would be original. Instead he goes for the atheist standby of calling all Christians stupid. I think that, to atheists, Christians aren’t individuals. We’re just bunched into one collective, oppressive being like when the Constructicons from The Transformers come together and form Devastator.

Of course, all Larry the troll writes after sharing my blog is, “As usual, lots more self-parodying stupid in the originals.” That’s all he has. It’s all any atheist has: “Show me God” and calling you stupid. I don’t know who Larry the Cucumber is or why he goes by the hideous name “Barefoot Bum.” Is he daring any Christian to wash his horrendous hooves? I don’t get it. Larry the Laughing Thalidomide Baby would be a better moniker than “Barefoot Bum.”

Now, I’m not complaining that Larry the Pantsless Petunia used my words in his blog. The only time I ever get comments on anything I write is when it’s about atheism. I need to make that my one-trick pony like these silly geese do. God bothers them and they want everyone to know it. “There is no God. And I hate Him!” is the atheist creed. It’s really a case of the lady dost protesting too much, methinks.

I’ve written about many, many things and few people care. But like some people collect those little troll dolls, I collect atheist trolls. We all do. Every Christian collects them because they’re everywhere. Let’s say you even mention God at a diner in Ohio. An atheist will come out of the kitchen and spray you with a can on which he’s written the word “Reason” in Magic Marker.

There was a time when atheists were more interested in smoking weed and playing video games than standing across the street from a church and laughing at the Christians inside. I don’t know what happened. Actually, I do. Those two Brits made it okay to “come out of the closet” and be obnoxious about non-belief. Half the atheists in the world, from nothings like Larry to former comedians like Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher and Penn Jillette said, “Wait. I can preach atheism!?!?!” And they all found their purpose.

So I haven’t bothered reading any of the other nonsense on Larry “the Axe” Hennig”s blog. I did notice that “The Stupid! It Burns!” is a staple on his little site in which he calls believers stupid then attacks them for getting upset. That’s cute because the stupid, of course, is the daffy Christians with their imaginary friend, and the burning is, well, who knows? Could be venereal disease, but Larry the Lobster has a feature and he’s adorable! Also, perhaps he’s a little depressed. It’s sad being an atheist. Larry the Barefoot Depressa is sad : (

But, back to the “out of the closet” bit, I was Googling “atheism” the other day and kept seeing the phrase “civil rights” come up, which is always funny. They hate Christians, but they want the same rights Christians have, whatever those are. Atheists wants to drink from the same water fountains and go to the same schools as Christians, then take God out of those schools and call us too dumb to go to the schools anyway.

Well, sorry. Jesus turned the water in those fountains into wine and you’re not adult enough to drink it. In other words, you’re not like a homosexual who just wants to get married and be fabulous, and you’re certainly not a black person in the 50s or 60s. Stop attaching yourself to that. You’re nothing, Leaping Larry. And that’s why you scream so much on the Internet.

Sorry, I’m bunching just like the atheists do. Luscious Larry is now every atheist. I have no idea whether he’s one of those who call it a “civil right.” I’ve not read any more of his shoeless bum bum blog than I need to.

Anyway, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t call yourself a minority and claim atheism is a civil rights issue, then say atheism isn’t a religion. If that’s the case, you are as much of a minority and civil rights fighter as Trekkies and Yankee fans are. If atheism is nothing more than not believing in God, then you’re the same kind of civil rights pioneer as someone who doesn’t enjoy Pink Floyd’s music. You won’t see my blog filled with posts about how awful and overrated Pink Floyd is because I don’t really care other than not liking them. Again, you, Larry the Lizard, doth protest too much.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that atheists will always tell you that you don’t know what atheism is, as if the thousands of atheist blogs and Twitter accounts don’t remind us every day that it’s about calling Christians stupid.

I want to find out what atheism really is. Maybe I’ll ask famous atheists like Asia Carrera, Sasha Grey, Nina Hartley, Rebecca Lord, Bree Olson, Mao Zedong, Kim Jong-Il, Joseph Stalin, Jared Lee Loughner and Ted Kaczynski.

What? Atheists are always putting together lists of great atheists, such as Ben Franklin, Albert Einstein and Micky Dolenz. So I made my own list. Oh, and Larry Flynt, in case our Larry needs someone with the same name and beliefs as him to idolize.

I wonder what atheism really means to Larry “the Barber” Beefcake. I would read more of his blog, but I like good writing.

.

And now let’s go to Larry with a rebuttal:

Larry: You called me sad and a nothing! You said I’m not a good writer! That’s not very Christian! You’re supposed to turn the other cheek!

Me: Oh, wipe your tears, Lawrence. I never said I was a good Christian. I’m just tired of atheists pushing their beliefs on me.

Lastly, thanks to Larry, I found out that there’s a term called “faitheist,” defined by the Barefoot Bum himself on Urban Dictionary as, “An atheist who is ‘soft’ on religious belief, and tolerant of even the worst intellectual and moral excesses of religion: atheist accommodationist.” So, these bigoted atheists have their own equivalent to *“n-word lover.”

*P.S. I put it this way only because even if I put quotes around the actual term, atheists would be all over me for being a racist, which I am not.

Praise for Puppet Shows

Praise for Puppet Shows 
by Michael Frissore 

“The stories in (Puppet Shows) are all randomly odd and bizarre. There is no whatsoever logic in it and strangely enough, you don't really need logic while reading this book. This in itself is what sets this book apart from all others. It ventures into the weird, the funny and sometimes, the gruesomely insane…Puppet Shows is like a brave foray into a well-defined territory in an attempt to bring something different, and indeed, this book really brings something entirely different!” – Dia Pelaez, Book Junkie Joint, http://book-junkie-joint.blogspot.com/ 

“These are the short stories that you would read to your teenage kid before bed…and the type of stories that you would read to just have a bit of a laugh once in a while. You could pick the book up, read a story, and it will brighten your day with its indirect humor. It's brilliant for spontaneous reading.”  

– Nada Qamber, http://interestedinall.blogspot.com/ 

“Frissore has managed to create a very unusual collection of short stories indeed. Full of the imaginative and bizarre and just plain ridiculous and yet, he somehow pulls it all off and it just works. Go into this with the expectation of having some fun and keep your mind open and you will truly be taken on a magical ride where anything is possible and almost everything happens.”  

- Ali, My Guilty Obsession, http://myguiltyobsession.blogspot.com/ 

“A fun collection of crazy short stories. They are very well-written and entertaining, if a little out-there. Read this if you have a good sense of humor and an appreciation for the ridiculous.”  

– Brinda, WiLoveBooks, http://wilovebooks.blogspot.com/ 

“Only a mind that has somehow slipped the mold of what we deem normal could create such a deliciously twisted collection of ideas and combine them into this treat for the mind.” – Jeanette Kempton, Author of the Karynja series 

“This is not mainstream fiction. It’s not mainstream anything. This guy is weird, and the stories he tells are every bit as bizarre. But from page 1, they’re fun. The stories are so far off the wall they’re in the garden somewhere.  

Frissore should be praised for more than just his sense of humour though. There’s an incredibly fluent turn of phrase here; you can hear every word smoothly, without effort. The language is spare in places, but often lively and always interesting. It’s conversational, but if that conversation was being held by the two sharpest, wittiest people you know (who also happen to be loony tunes).  

I don’t know if Frissore bangs this stuff out without sweat, or if he agonises over each syllable, but the effect is prose that’s as rewarding to read as it is funny… 

It’s a difficult plate to spin though, creating something both worthwhile and absurd. And in many of these stories, Frissore nails it. One or two heart strings are even plucked subtly, with a three word flash of emotion dropped in amongst a chaotic tale.  

But let’s not take for granted the most important point - the funny. Every story amused me, and all of them were cut off at just about the right time. .. Frissore reaffirmed my belief that such whimsy (that’s right, I used the word whimsy, what of it?), screams loudest and most perfectly in rich, short bursts.” 

- Gav’s Book Reviews, http://gavsbookreviews.blogspot.com/ 

"This was a nice side step from my normal genres that normally lack a lot of humor.

The stories did make me "lol," which was great. I kept wanting to know what silly

thing would happen next. And as a writer myself, I appreciated the fact that Frissore

poured his weird and boundless imagination onto the pages of this book seemingly

without holding back. Even his character names were hilarious."

"This is a great read for someone who just needs to relax and shed their

'taking life too seriously' skin. The stories were well written and nicely compiled."

"Buy it. Read it. Laugh a lot, and be grateful there are writers out there who can

create this type of material."

Neesha from Novellarella

Puppet Shows 

Stories by Michael Frissore 

Writers AMuse Me Publishing 

http://www.writersamuseme.com/michaelfrissore.htm

Attack of the Twitter Atheists!

I’ve never had a problem with atheism per se. My two best friends in college were atheists; two of the groomsmen in my wedding were atheists (one in each pair was the same guy). We never preached at or mocked each other unless it was recognized as in good fun. We never threw faith or non-faith in each other’s faces.

This is kind of what I used to see atheism as. Just “I don’t believe. You do? Well good for you.”

It’s changed in the last six years.

I’ve written about atheism a few times since early 2008, and have followed the atheist hashtags on Twitter off and on for nearly two years. I’ve even argued with atheists on Twitter, and I would never have done this if not for the multitude of atheist chic soldiers out there, especially on Twitter. I don’t know that there is any hashtag out there that never trends, yet is always good for at least a mention per minute the way #atheism or #atheist are. Atheists love Twitter, probably for its anonymity.

Oh, you’re not anonymous to God, you silly geese.

Atheists troll Twitter both for Christians who hashtag atheism, and those who mention Jesus, simply to swarm upon them and scoff with clever “Prove to me there’s a God” comments. They’ve done this online, in general, at least since 2009, when I wrote something about the debaptisms that college atheists were having. They swarmed on me by the dozens, seemingly never noticing that the site, at the time, was called “Up My Own Ass.” Man, I had fun with that.

Atheism has reigned over Twitter for quite some time, just as the prophets Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins foretold. Actually, the true atheist prophet on Twitter is former comedian-turned-atheist preacher Ricky Gervais. Visit Gervais’s Twitter page at any given moment and see him mock Christians like other hacks used to mock airline food.

With Gervais, once perhaps the funny comedian there was, atheism isn’t just non-belief. It’s an obsession. I’ve collected a sampling of his tweets just from the first week of April 2013.

Let’s begin with the popular weekly Twitter occasion #FollowFriday, or #FF, which Gervais, a celebrity with over four million followers, happily partakes in to celebrate the joys of atheism!

@rickygervais: #ff @RichardDawkins @TheTweetOfGod @SamHarrisOrg @GSpellchecker @adrianbriggs @MrOzAtheist @ProfBrianCox @Atheistican The A Team

The A Team! Imagine being a nobody deemed a somebody by Gervais or Dawkins simply because you don’t believe in a higher being and choose to openly mock those who do. What a great deal! Almost makes me want to convert myself!

Here is a selection of other Gervais tweets between April 1 and 7, 2013:

“@rickygervais: “@Jesusontwittorr: I'll be honest, for the first 3 hours of my crucifixion I thought I was being Punk'd”

Haha”

It’s not really funny, but they have atheism in common. So that gets a “Haha.”


“@rickygervais: Happy Sun Day.
Hope you are happy and secure enough in your beliefs to not care what others think of them. & Laugh. It's good for you :)”

This is Gervais’s excuse to continue the relentless bashing of Christians.

By the way, Sun day? Smiley face?

@rickygervais: "If there's no God why don't you just steal and murder as much as you want?"

I do.

Gervais doesn’t attribute this quote to anyone in particular, leaving me to believe that no one actually said or typed this. Still, a hilarious reply, nonetheless! I think he married the guy!

@rickygervais: #ff @fabulousanimals @wspauk @TigerTimeNow @AnimalsAsia
@StopFurTrade
Whether you believe in evolution or magic, be nice to animals :)

Even his animal activism is coupled with atheism. By the way, odd that it’s Science that tests everything on these poor animals. They don’t test holy water in a cat’s eyes at church! Go, Science! By the way, there’s that smiley face again. He’s like a 13-year-old girl.


@rickygervais: @RichardDawkins
Quite. Some really don't understand it, which is sad. Some, however, are wilfully ignorant as it threatens their agenda.

Faith is merely an “agenda.” Hey, notice he misspelled “willfully!”

@rickygervais: DNA & Carbon dating shows that we evolved with all life over billions of years.

Bible says God created us from dust and ribs.

I'm torn.

Yawn. He can’t be the first person to point this out, can he?



@rickygervais: “@tomtomward18: My feed is filled up with @rickygervais arguing about religion”

Who's mentioned religion today? I've been tweeting science.

Get it? Dr. Gervais is blinding us with science!

@rickygervais: If you discovered ANY evidence for the existence of God, you would be proclaimed, BY THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY, the greatest genius ever. Go!Ooh, the “proof” argument. Impossible, and the atheists count on that.

@rickygervais: “@Atheistican: a selfish goal of this account is to get @rickygervais as a follower. #FingersCrossed”

Your prayers have been answered.

Take atheism away from this guy and he’s the most useless gnat Gervais will ever come in pseudo-contact with. Also, get it? He said “prayers!”

@rickygervais: "Why don't you believe in God?"

For exactly the same reasons that you don't believe in Zeus.

LOL! Somewhere Tommy “Tiny” Lister weeps.

@rickygervais: Evolution gets a big thumbs up from me.

Right in my own keister. This quote must have been on a bumper sticker.


@rickygervais: "Why are you an atheist?"

I'm as God made me.
(He makes Gay people and Hindus too. Versatile.)I don’t think atheism has been the least bit funny since George Carlin did these bits 20 years ago. By the way, are we capitalizing “Gay” now?

@rickygervais: "Jesus was a Christian not a Jew dumbass"

This is my best day ever on Twitter.

Again, unattributed. No one said this.

@rickygervais: "You only ever mock Jesus. Why don't you mock Jews?"

This Tweet is why I love Twitter.

See above. Though I would ask him the same about Muslims.

@rickygervais: "Scients is just an Athiest theory"

I want to give this tweet the Nobel prize.

Again, “Prize” should also be capitalized, Richard.

@rickygervais: Favourite if you're clinging to the irrational hope of an afterlife,
or RT if you're going to try to make the most of this guaranteed one.

Make the most of this life by being on Twitter all the time.

@rickygervais: "Guys, guys, that dude we killed Friday is up and about again......
nah, April Fools!...haha..your faces."

Wow! And we get all this humor from him for free!

Gervais will even happily retweet a fellow atheist. Just in the first week of April he retweeted the likes of @Jesusontwitter @GSpellchecker (“Godless Spellchecker”), @TheTweetofGod and @Atheist_Tweeter. Plus the very lucky @CiaraBaxendale, who tweeted:

“@Gervatheism I converted my philosophy teacher to Gervatheism. She wrote this in my report @rickygervais !! http://t.co/XjhXu956ZX

The cleverness just astounds!

I’m going to come out and admit something, and it’s something I’m sure all atheists already know, including Dawkins, plus Gervais, Bill Maher, Penn Gillette, and any other comedian who gave up comedy for atheism – Yours is an argument that is impossible to lose!

Atheists can say whatever hateful things they want to. They can mock, call Christians stupid, stone them, for Hitchen’s sake. If Christians retaliate, even in the least, the atheist can just say, “Aren’t you supposed to turn the other cheek?” It’s flawless! And the only possible way for a Christian to win an argument with an atheist is to produce God! As if He works down the street at the local Starbucks and will be right here after He punches out for the day. It’s the perfect stance! Being pro-cancer is an easier argument than defending your belief in God to an atheist. How can a human being possibly obtain proof of a supreme one? That’s why it’s called faith! They’re playing with House money!

Christianity, and Catholicism in particular, is the easiest target there is. Ask Gervais and Maher. They’re still relevant because of it. Making fun of faith is as easy as mocking people with special needs. Yet it’s totally tolerated! Which makes it even easier! By the way, the joke here is no doubt that I’m comparing Christians to people with special needs (Which I’m not.) Gervais himself has gotten some flack for making fun of special people. He goes after all the easy targets: Christians, the obese, those with special needs, and people who hurt cute animals. I wonder what Ricky thinks of obese animals?

I literally lost all respect for Gervais as a comic. He’s no better than Gary Coleman now. Arnold had “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis.” Gervais has “There’s no God.”

But what can we expect? He’s fifty-one years old and still calls himself “Ricky.”

It’s actually a very simpleminded attitude to say no way is there a God, then go on to preach this idea. It’s one thing to simply not believe, go about your day, and tweet about bacon and Game of Thrones. That I can respect. But to come off as a “free thinker,” and proudly label yourself an atheist, like it’s a scarlet letter, or even a PhD, is pure buffoonery, let alone arrogance. By the way, these “free thinkers” aren’t doing anything but following the road paved by Hitchens and Dawkins, and the fork in said road made by Gervais. They are all merely sheep. Even Gervais is a Dawkins sheep. I don’t recall any atheism gags in The Office.

I have more respect for the Beliebers and One Directioners of Twitter. At least they waste their time on something they do like and believe in. All atheists believe in is attacking #TeamJesus and worshipping their own imagined superiority over Christians. And this includes Gervais and Dawkins. Tweet about how there’s no afterlife and that Christians are wasting their lives; yet, all these atheists tweet about is the same topic, literally minute after minute in many cases. It must be a miserable existence. I mean if ignorance is bliss, imagine the hell (If it existed, tee hee) these intelligent atheists are in.

If I were to paint all Twitter atheists with the same brush, like they do with Christians, I would not only say that they all came out of the woodwork/closet once Hitchens and Dawkins became successful with their respective books, but they crave the attention they see “other” minorities getting.

The homosexual community has gay marriage, something that’s only been a thing since the turn of the century, but it’s something to fight for and celebrate. With Barack Obama’s victory in 2008, the African-American community has had something to celebrate themselves. Both minorities have actual oppression in their past, and present.

What are straight, American white men and women to do? If they’re not Christians, they “come out of the closet” as non-believers, long persecuted by the evil Christians. Paint Christians as bigots spreading fear with their “God is watching you” nonsense, and suddenly atheists are a minority much like the others are. Punching an atheist at a bar might soon be a hate crime.

Mommy doesn’t love me and my grandparents say I’m a sinner. I’ll show them!

Unlike homosexuals and African-Americans, however, some atheists have grown to become bullies. Thus, the minority sentiment has given way to mockery at the expense of Christians. The imagined persecuted have become the pseudo-persecutors. And don’t they love it? Thank you, Twitter!

Many Christians go to Bible studies, have church events, and do some type of service either for their community or outside of the country. All atheists do, as far as I can see, is get together and mock Christians. Yes, you’re doing a wonderful service by mocking me and my beliefs. But atheists get away with it because Christians have allegedly been keeping minorities down for thousands of years.

Everything bad is religion’s fault. Religion is the evil in the world. Never mind that this imaginary Tooth Fairy-like creature, or at least the idea of Him, helps many, many people who are down and out. Screw ‘em, the week-minded assholes. These geniuses, the “free thinkers,” who claim to be so much more intelligent than the easy-mark Christians because they are certainly not stupid enough to fall for something like “faith,” are essentially bullies.

I feel sorry for them. Not because they don’t believe in God. Who cares? Do what you want. Death bed confession, that’s what you can turn to. I feel sorry for them because, while they like to say they’re living life rather than burying themselves in this God nonsense, all they have is their hatred for Christians, wherever it comes from: Mommy and Daddy not showing them enough love; Father O’Leary patting them on the head when they were six; their cat dying. Who knows? They call it “Logic” that they were blessed with. Sorry, not blessed. Graced. No. I mean, they were just born with “Logic.” But it has to be something more. Something just isn’t there. There’s a hole inside them that they fill with the mockery of those they feel oppressed them somehow.

Sure religion can cause pain: terrorism, childhood innocence lost, Pat the Bible Study lady stealing pocket change from the collection plate. But there is plenty of good there as well. Atheists don’t choose to see it. There’s no room in the hole for the good. The approval they need from Ricky Gervais goes in this hole.