Saturday, September 17, 2011

Brief Write-Up on NewPages.com

That's right. You may not give a rampaging shite, but NewPages is a pretty big deal and they like my horseshit even if you don't read it. Because, you see, my timeless story, "The Adventures of Root Beer Float Man" received a thumbs up from one Henry F. Tonn of the prestigious NewPages Web site. In case the link soon shits the bed, here's what Mr. Tonn wrote:

"I immensely enjoyed “The Adventures of Root Beer Float Man” by Michael Frissore, a humorous tale about a man with super powers such as being able to scream like a little girl, and who is dedicated to solving crimes, if he can correctly identify them. Frissore’s style comes through as the protagonist asks his boss for time off to investigate a friend’s death: “‘Well, you know, Sparky,’ he said. ‘You don't really work here anymore. I fired you three weeks ago. You have no training in journalism and you creep everyone in the office out.’” And so our hero sallies off to right the world’s wrongs."

There you have it. I'm great!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Ben and Jerry Announce Schweddy Balls!

After announcing their new Schweddy Balls ice cream flavor (named after the overrated SNL sketch starring Alec Baldwin) the grizzly Vermont team plans to Introduce even more hideous flavors in the future, including:

Nut Sack Ripple

Testicle Toffee

Scrotum Swirl

Pistachio Pussy

Cookies and Crabs

Strawberry Syphilis

Green Tea Gonorrhea

Cotton Candy Chlamydia

Hepatitis Spumoni

STD: Strawberry Thinmint Drizzle

Heath Bar Herpes

Vanilla Yeast Infection

Marshmallow Menstrual Blood

Almond Anal Fissures