Monday, August 29, 2011

Dear Diary

This week I decided to make my blog a journal in lieu of posting some “unpublishable” writing or something about dead wrestlers or other such nonsense. Nobody reads this anyway. Thus, it might as well be a diary locked up in my drawer next to the unicorn stickers, Gummi Bears, and love letters to Justin Bieber.
This weekend we started looking at preschools for Alex. Really cute. I enjoy watching him interact with other kiddos. On Sunday we took him to a mall to see puppies and play on the playground, where he made faces at some little girls. Must let him know not to do that. Daddy knows from experience, this is not a good way to pick up girls. He may be way cuter than me, but making faces is universally scary.
Later that night we were somewhere where he got to play with more girls and his pants kept falling down and the girls laughed at him. So I went over and knocked both chicks out. Okay, I didn’t, but I wanted to as a warning to all future bimbos who might laugh at my boy.

Let’s see, Amy and I also had a clash of the titans between the film Mansfield Park, based, of course, on the “Stone Cold” Jane Austen novel, and “Live From the Compound,” the UStream program starring Anthony Cumia of The Opie and Anthony Show. Can you guess which side I was on? Anyway, I left her to watch the Jane Austen movie so I could watch Anthony’s coverage of Hurricane Irene. Then Amy said she wouldn’t come to bed until I stopped watching it. I mean, really! What kind of behavior is this?
Then last night we watched True Blood, and Amy said “This doesn’t happen in the books,” a dozen times.
I also had someone retweet one of my response to their nearly 8,000 followerrs:
mfrissore Michael Frissore
“@... Whoever said chris brown can't dance , get slapped!”.
Me: Must have been Rhianna and she must said it over and over.
Now, let’s get down to brass tacks, whatever the hell that means.
Opie and Anthony are on vacation this week. So, first, interested parties might be able to catch “Live From the Compound” all week on UStream. Second, I’m listening to podcasts at work all day, rather than half the day. One of the things I’ll be bringing you (minus Tuesday, I’ll be off with my boy) is the mighty podcasts to which I’m listening. Because it is that important. Here’s the lineup for Monday.

You Know What, Duuude? with Robert Kelly

Guests: Joe DeRosa, Bill Burr

The three comics bust each others’ balls with hilarious results.
The Monday Morning Podcast with Bill Burr
August 29, 2011

Bill gets chastised by hotel security for being too loud.
Jim Jefferies and Eddie Ifft Talk Sh*t
: “Co-depend Detox” -
Guest: John Viener (Family Guy, The Cleveland Show)

Jim Jefferies lines:
“Herpes is a gateway STD.”
“The door wanted to leave him as well.”
“He doesn’t know if he snores. No one has ever slept next to him.”
Mike and Tom Eat Snacks: Episode 22 - Snyder’s  Pretzels
Guest: Rob Burnett

Voted “The Best Podcast since Amos & Andy,” Michael Ian Black and Tom Cavanagh welcome the former Late Show with David Letterman producer and Ed co-creator and his snack of choice. The result is a near fistfight between Mike and Rob.

Mike and Tom Eat Snacks: Episode 23 – Fig Newtons
Guest: Rob Burnett
Mike and Tom bring Burnett back to MATES headquarters for another hilarious, snack-filled episode. Mike and Rob try to mend fences. Fig Newtons will always get a Perfect 10 from me.
And that was it. Now I’m off to Wal*mart to buy Mum four boxes of Dreyer’s fruit bars – two coconut, two pineapple – then pick up Alex from G-Pa and G-Ma (their rap names).
If I write in my diary tomorrow it will be a miracle. Whip like. So, stay tuned for What I Listened to on Wednesday, featuring perhaps Kevin Smith, and more Bob Kelly, MATES, and Jim and Eddie!

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